Advent Reflections: Immanuel

Immanuel (`immānū'el)

       (n.) God with us.          

I conclude it from your Word,

from your gestures of the past,

when you, hands cupped, limits set, gave rise

to all that is and was, so warm and wise.

You said "living" loud and "dying" low

and ever repeated: "Be."

But there came murder before the first death

And a sharp rip went through your circles so ripe

and a loud scream ran through

and tore the voices away

which had just assembled to speak

and talk about you and carry you high,

as bridge over any abyss.

And what they have been stammering since then

are but pieces

of your former name.

-Rainer Maria Rilke, The Book of Hours

"'The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel' --which means, 'God with us.'" -Matthew 1:23

Trees

"How we did love trees! I am grateful that my childhood was spent in a spot where there were many trees, trees of personality, planted and tended by hands long dead, bound up with everything of joy or sorrow that visited our lives. When I have "lived with" a tree for many years it seems to me a beloved companion...

...Dear old trees! I hope they all had souls and will grow again for me on the hills of Heaven".

-Excerpts from chapter 3 of The Alpine Path

I've been reading this book, The Alpine Path, a memoir by L.M. Montgomery (I really can't seem to move past her writing). I've always loved her and felt a sense of connection with her but this book is deepening my kinship with her once more. 

And oh how I miss the beloved trees and groves of my childhood! The spaces where I found a closeness to the roots of growing things. I, too, once found that my familiarity with each of the trees caused me to find relationship with them as I would with another human. I long for those spaces of connection, the treed areas I grew to love. 

A part of me felt like they were made exclusively for me to enjoy. That old stump was cut down in such a way that is made the ideal seat for me to gather thoughts or spend hours sketching dreams. The two rows of trees planted just so to create an avenue for a Romantic encounter.  The leaves of an elder tree, catching the golden afternoon light, casting dancing shadows on my painted paper. The seamless rows of bushes and birch trees making room for my rattling bike on the uneven path. The poplar branches so perfectly formed to place one foot on top of the other in effort to reach the top. 

I delight in each of these with every moment I receive to enjoy them. My heart finds rest when I can see my old friends once again. Their whispering leaves remind me once again that I belong and that I am home. 

*Photo by Cattura Imagery

If I were a writer, I would try to express the beautiful rootedness that I feel toward my homeland. But I struggle with words and finding my voice within an essay or memoir. I am thankful for a writer that so accurately describes my deepest thoughts in such an eloquent way. L.M., you once again remind me that we share a heart for the same thing. 

The connection to land has yet to be found here on the west coast. And perhaps it will never be found because I find that my connection lies more with the sea. I'm becoming more familiar with its rolling waves and wild, rugged shore. The deep, dark unknown captures me. Its loneliness draws me in. The vast and mysterious hidden world beneath the water's surface allows my imagination to soar. 

Trees have always reminded me of my roots, but I suppose the sea reminds me of something else...maybe a desire to be known. Or maybe it's just the reminder that there is so much more than we know or can even imagine. There is great beauty in that fact and somehow it helps to bring me peace. 

A Light Beckons Softly

I haven't kept a fantastic record of my recent painting series on this blog. I posted the first painting I created a while back (which can be read about here). And I've created three paintings since, all relating to the process of grief and mourning. I'll put them together at some point so you can see the progression, but for now I wanted to post the final composition to the series. This was the largest and most time consuming piece I did, but I wanted to incorporate a figure because the piece represents not just a feeling, but a definite action. In the process of all that is grief, there comes a time to step forward, with the help of a strength beyond human capacity and this painting is representative of that. I welcome your comments below in response!

A Light Beckons Softly

acrylic on canvas

48"x 60"

2013

“And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm, and steadfast.” 1 Peter 5:10

Her Absence Is Like the Sky

Today, I'm remembering my darling niece. It's hard not to, most days. Every part of my every day, lately, seems to be directly or indirectly affected by the feeling of loss and heartache. Somedays, I feel ok...somedays I even feel joyful. But then my body tells me otherwise- it breaks down and tells me that life is not normal and that it will take a long time to heal. The grief is still present and I'm not sure when (if ever...) that grief will disappear and be replaced by something else. It feels like it's ever-looming... And I miss that baby girl so much. It's amazing how the feeling of loss can be so great without ever having even really met her. 

I was reading A Grief Observed by C.S. Lewis today and this quote stuck with me about the feeling of absence:

"At first I was very afraid of going to places where H. and I had been happy- our favourite pub, our favourite wood. But I decided to do it at once-like sending a pilot up again as soon as possible after he's had a crash. Unexpectedly, it makes no difference. Her absence is no more emphatic in those places than anywhere else. It's not local at all. I suppose that if one were forbidden all salt one wouldn't notice it much more in any one food than in another. Eating in general would be very different, ever day, at every meal. It is like that. The act of living is different all through. Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything."

...And yet my hope is also being restored through the One who gives life. I am attempting to give my emotions, thoughts and feelings daily to God because I know that He can heal and renew. 

"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." -Romans 12:12. 

In the Midst of All of This...

1 Peter 4:12- 5:11

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a murderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment to begin with God's household; and if it begins with us, what will the outcome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,

"If it is hard for the righteous to be saved,what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?"^[a]

So then, those who suffer according to God's will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder and a witness of Christ's sufferings who also will share in the glory to be revealed: Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

In the same way, you who are younger, submit yourselves to your elders. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

"God opposes the proud

but shows favor to the humble and oppressed." (Prov 3:3-4)

Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your fellow believers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a 

little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen

Quinn Olivia

September 12, 2012

My beautiful niece forever with Christ.

(Photos by Sharalee Prang Photography)

Better Things

Please excuse my absence. I have been living without internet for the past month, so I think that is an excellent excuse not to be posting! But, in the time that I've been away, I've been collecting evidence that I'm still alive and well, in the form of photos. So, very soon, when I have internet on my computer again (I'm posting from my work computer at the moment!) I will be uploading all kinds of fun goodies.

In the mean time, please enjoy this quote by my all-time favourite, C.S. Lewis. I think it kind of speaks to where I am right now. I am preparing to leave this wonderful province I call home, again. I am preparing to venture off into a world that is still fairly unfamiliar to me, again. I find it hard to not focus on the things that I am leaving behind, because I know that there are great things ahead, but there are so many things that I love right here, right now. I am working hard at trying to focus on the many fantastic journeys that lie ahead of me. I know that this quote is actually speaking to the life we lead here on earth and what the future entails for us in eternity, which is also a struggle sometimes, but I feel it has double meaning for me today as I am preparing to leave this week.

What kinds of things are you preparing for as the end of August, the end of summer approaches?

Spiritual Contemplation

The following is a beautiful response by Richard Foster to a selection by Thomas Merton, "What is Contemplation?".  This selection was part of my devotions this morning from the book, "Spiritual Classics: Selected Readings for Individuals and Groups on the Twelve Spiritual Disciplines" (Whew! Long name!):

"In discussing contemplation Thomas Merton reaches us in the most simple way possible, namely, by calling us to the love of God. He speaks directly to our condition when he says, "so many Christians...have practically no idea of the immense love of God for them, and of the power of that Love to do them good, to bring them happiness." In saying this he is teaching us that at its core contemplation is simply and profoundly falling in love with God over and over and over again. 
     In contemplation we are coming to dearly love and constantly delight in the "heavenly Father" who has been made real to us in Jesus Christ. We "see"- see with the eyes of the heart- that God is out to do us good always. We see, truly see, that there is no limit, no "catch" to God's goodness toward us. 
     Merton wisely reminds us that this perfecting love is not necessarily tied to what he calls "weird phenomena- ecstasies, raptures, stigmata and so on." Rather the transforming vision of divine Love and of our responding love is a gift of the Holy Spirit that comes by means of "Wisdom and Understanding." In saying this he is following the lead of Thomas Aquinas who writes, "Love follows knowledge." In other words, love is the response of our heart, aroused in our will, by means of our mind's enthralling vision of the goodness of God. That is all. That is contemplation."

I hope it is as encouraging to you on this day as it was to me this morning. It's a completely mysterious thing- the discipline of contemplation to bring about wisdom and understanding. And it's only in that place that I realize the power of God's love. I so often forget that he is ultimately in control over my thoughts and emotions, even my worries which seem to pervade my mind each and every day. In this space of contemplation, I have realized it is the only time when I am able to feel complete and overwhelming peace and joy. It is a release of control and a realization that God all-powerful and all-knowing. This is when I feel the full effect of the Love of Christ.

via Flickr

Spring Song

I was just thinking about how lucky I am this year. I get to experience the beauty of spring twice! Here on the west coast, spring has come in full bloom. The daffodils, tulips, and magnolia blossoms are in full bloom and it looks beautiful. But I head back to the prairies on the weekend where signs of spring are just starting to appear. I get to take delight in the joy of spring blossoms all over again! It's quite wonderful. 

Speaking of spring, I came across these gorgeous shots by Lucia and Mapp. They exude an essence of spring and are so dreamy and romantic. Just lovely. 

L.M. Montgomery summarizes the feeling of spring quite well in her poetry...I love her descriptions- they feel so full of life. 

Spring Song

Hark, I hear a robin calling!


List, the wind is from the south! 


And the orchard-bloom is falling


Sweet as kisses on the mouth. 



In the dreamy vale of beeches


Fair and faint is woven mist, 


And the river's orient reaches


Are the palest amethyst. 



Every limpid brook is singing


Of the lure of April days; 


Every piney glen is ringing


With the maddest roundelays. 



Come and let us seek together


Springtime lore of daffodils, 


Giving to the golden weather


Greeting on the sun-warm hills. 



Ours shall be the moonrise stealing


Through the birches ivory-white; 


Ours shall be the mystic healing


Of the velvet-footed night. 



Ours shall be the gypsy winding


Of the path with violets blue, 


Ours at last the wizard finding


Of the land where dreams come true

Dealing With Grief

I've been gone for a while, but with good reason. I've got an awful lot going on in my life lately, on both spectrums- some really fantastic things and then some things that are incredibly hard to deal with. One of these hard things happened this week when my dear, dear Grandpa passed away. I've never had to deal with grief before of someone so close to me. My Grandpa lived a fantastic life and devoted his life to following Christ. He was an example to so many in his hard work and generosity. I have so many memories which make this all the harder...but I can't help but praise God for these memories and the life that he lived. The words of the old hymn, "It Is Well", are running through my head this morning. The writer of the song, Horatio Spafford, dealt with an incredible amount of grief in his life, yet this beautiful song came out of his mourning. I would like to share the words with you on this rainy morning. I think that the last verse, in particular, is most powerful. I am at peace knowing I will see my Grandpa again which is a joyous thing.

(source)

1. It Is Well With My Soul
2. Horatio G. Spafford
3. 
   
4. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   • Refrain:
     It is well, with my soul,
     It is well, it is well, with my soul.
5. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
6. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
7. For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
   If Jordan above me shall roll,
   No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
   Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
8. But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
   The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
   Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
   Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!
9. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

An Untroubled Spirit

I have had and will continue to have very busy weeks, so this blog may be abandoned for a short while. But I will continue to post when I feel most inspired- it just may be a lot less often because inspiration does not come easily these days! I leave you with this lovely sampler of beautiful flowers and a quote (of which, I cannot find the author!)

(source)

"Tread lightly upon this earth, seeing, understanding but never imposing. Thoughtful, independent, be gracious in victory and defeat. Free of possessiveness, so ease of mind sweetens relationships. Like the scent of a rose the untroubled spirit imparts a lasting fragrance". 

Words for Wednesday: Relax.

(book cover)

Do you ever just have a moment where everything you have to do in the next while comes rushing to your head all at once causing you to have information overload? Well, I just had one of those. Somehow, my brain decided today was the day to remind me of all the homework I have, the midterm I have to study for, the large paintings I have to do, the chores that I haven't got done, the blog posts I have to catch up on, and the fact that there is no more coffee in the house, so this may be my last cup for a while. Sigh. This is when these words come in handy. I know it's not a monday, but I figured I can cheat on that. It's a Words for Wednesday day today.

Happy Love Day!

I've always love Valentine's Day! It's such a wonderful celebration of love, no matter your status. I've never had a Valentine, but I've never had a Valentine's Day that wasn't special. Growing up, my parents always made it about family love, and doing special things for one another. And I think that's how it ought to be. Forget all of the stigma's that go along with it and simply show love to one another! Sure we shouldn't have to have a day set aside to do that, but sometimes you just need a reason to. So here's to love, all kinds of love, and Valentine's Day! 

"The Lord your God is with you, 

he is mighty to save.

He will take great delight in you,

he will quiet you with his love,

he will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17

Snowed In

 "This must be a simply enormous wardrobe!" thought Lucy, going still further in and pushing the soft folds of the coats aside to make room for her. Then she noticed that there was something crunching under her feet. "I wonder is that more mothballs?" she thought, stooping down to feel it with her hand. But instead of feeling the hard, smooth wood of the floor of the wardrobe, she felt something soft and powdery and extremely cold. "This is very queer," she said, and went on a step or two further... 

...Next moment she found that what was rubbing against her face and hands was no longer soft fur but something hard and rough and even prickly. "Why, it is just like branches of trees!" exclaimed Lucy. And then she saw that there was a light ahead of her; not a few inches away where the back of the wardrobe ought to have been, but a long way off. Something cold and soft was falling on her. A moment later she found that she was standing in the middle of a wood at night-time with snow under her feet and snowflakes falling through the air...

...Lucy felt a little frightened, but she felt very inquisitive and excited as well. She looked back over her shoulder and there, between the dark tree trunks; she could still see the open doorway of the wardrobe and even catch a glimpse of the empty room from which she had set out. (She had, of course, left the door open, for she knew that it is a very silly thing to shut oneself into a wardrobe.) It seemed to be still daylight there. "I can always get back if anything goes wrong," thought Lucy...

...She began to walk forward, crunch-crunch over the snow and through the wood towards the other light. In about ten minutes she reached it and found it was a lamp-post."

(excerpt from: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, Chapter 1)

Well. Snow Day #2 today. It has been snowing for quite a few days now but it's funny because this is now the third snow day I've ever had! Everything seems to shut down here while back home, you could never count on a snow day to happen! So I'm quite enjoying myself and these back woods filled with snow are filling me with romanticism, hence the excerpt from Narnia...

Words For Monday

via Flickr

Ahhhh. I'm home. It feels so good to be back in a place that I love! Although there is not as much snow as other years which makes it kind of drab out, it doesn't really matter to me because I love this land so much! I like being able to see for miles and miles with no obstructions! And the sky is just so big and grand! It's quite wonderful. I came across this poster yesterday and it made me think about what home really is- although I am creating art in B.C., most of my loved artwork is situated here, in my home.

Words for Monday

source

I don't have any deep, awe-inspiring, thoughtful words for you today. But this poster explains my life on most mornings, Mondays included! LOVE. coffee. 

Words For Monday

Open Your Hymnals...

The words of this song are so wonderful. I feel it is a prayer and vow every time I sing it! I haven't heard this version for a long time, but as I got into my Christmas mood again today and started listen to Sufjan Stevens Christmas, I was reminded of how good it was! Hope you find it a blessing as well :)

Simplicity

You can buy this print here!

A little reminder for Thursday, the end of my school week. I've been feeling overwhelmed with homework and as a result have been procrastinating (hence the redesigned blog! What do you think?). I'm realizing that sometimes, as much as it is important, there are other things more important than homework. Like rest. and simplicity- not making things too complicated. Take a bit of time to enjoy your day. Take time to do the important things, but enjoy life along with it!

Make New Friends

I have been making friends here, and it's wonderful! As the old rhyme goes: "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold..."

Following

I've been wondering lately what my voice is on this blog. I started it out as a way to motivate me to finish crochet projects. But it's turned into so much more- an inspiration outlet, a sharing of day-to-day life, my creative endeavours. I get to looking at other's blogs, though, and comparing mine to theirs, thinking, "How can I make mine look as good, sound as good, gather more followers?"... I realized so suddenly this weekend that I've shared bits of my life with you, my creative voice, but not even that voice as a whole. I have so many thoughts when it comes to my art and creative inspiration that I fail to share. And I have never really, completely, honestly shared about me, about what's going on in my head, about why I choose the things I do, about where God fits into all of this and why He's the reason for all of this. So here I am. This is it. This is the start of my voice on the blog, not the person I want other bloggers out there tothink I am for the sake of popularity/followers...I know I have readers out there, and I want you to keep reading because of who I am, not only because of what I like.

This is my life right now. I am in the midst of packing up all I've known for the past 2 1/2 years. I am heading for the very unknown and I don't want to go. Every part of my being tells me not to except for one very small, very still Voice that keeps nudging me forward. I've been accepted into the Diploma of Fine Arts program at the University of the Fraser Valley...which is a good 19 hour drive away from all I've ever known as home. It's a long way- maybe not for some, but that feels like an eternity for me. I'm not the type to pack up and leave my comfort zone, in fact I really, really enjoy being comfortable. I'm not a risk taker.

But 2 1/2 years ago, I took a risk as a small-town girl and moved to the heart of the "big" city of Saskatoon (I say it in quotation, because I feel it's so small now, but at the time, it felt big and scary!). It was scary, and I felt uncomfortable for even 9 months after, but I now have learned to love Saskatoon- I love the charm and community feel that especially my neighbourhood has. I love walking to Broadway, buying groceries at the Farmer's Market, getting books from the library downtown, riding my bike and looking at old houses. It has become comfortable. And God is telling me to take a risk again.

He's been pushing me towards this for a while, and I'm beginning to see that. I was working at a job this past year that has helped me to save the funds I need and gain a bit of the independence I need to move forward.

I was originally applying as just a thought, but it came a reality when I got accepted and suddenly it wasn't really what I wanted anymore. But that didn't matter because God's hand has been pulling me forward and in the midst of my fear, he has shown me his calm and given me the courage and strength to keep taking steps onward. I don't know what this next year will hold, or why I have to go B.C. to carry out my dream of attending art school, but I do know that by doing this, I will gain experience to carry out a different dream of mine, a ministry of sorts (which I may explain in a later post, we'll see...). And I do know that I can never stop following the voice of my Leader. I've learned to recognize it, even when the thoughts in my head are giving conflicting opinions.

I've been reading through Acts and have been amazed at the courage and fearlessness that the early Christians took to live out their faith and follow after the teachings of Jesus. The accounts of people being changed by the words of Christ and the obedience of his disciples is inspiring. I want to live with that same courage and be able to speak the words of Jesus freely. It's only by living in Christ's footsteps that I will be able to do that. I have a vision to use my art as a ministry, but I need to gain more experience as I do, in order to more effectively portray God's word.

So. This is where I'm at. This is my voice in this moment. Packing is overwhelming, preparing for a graduating art show, even more so. But God is with me, also in this moment. He's calling me forward. And I'm responding.

"Now get up and stand on your feet. I have appeared to you to appoint you as a servant and as a witness of what you have seen of me and what I will show you." Acts 26:16