An Intimate Sorrow

"An Intimate Sorrow" is the start of an ongoing series that relates to the expression of emotion. This is the first painting that I've created- the statement is below. I would love your feedback on the piece!

An Intimate Sorrow

What does it feel like to lose something? What does the fragility of life invoke in a person? How can one express the deepest feelings of sadness and sorrow in a way that becomes tangible? How does one grieve for things they never had? And how does a person move on from a pain so unfathomable?

These were all questions I had in the wake of this project. My world was shaken this year as the first events of my life that allowed me to experience the new emotions of grief and sorrow came down on me. These are emotions that are rarely ever describable through the medium of words, but so often need to be expressed through some external outlet. For me, that expression has come through the medium of paint. My heart and mind feel and grieve. My body weeps and creates.

“Her Absence Is Like the Sky” arose out of the emotions experienced in the events that occurred around the birth and death of my niece, Quinn Olivia. She was a very long awaited-for child. Hearts that had already experienced death anticipated her birth. And she was born, a perfect 6 lbs 10 oz. but without a beating heart or breath in her lungs. We were hoping for a miracle and we waited to hear the wailing cry of a baby, instead we heard the wailing cry of a mother in anguish. Things were not supposed to be like this.

This loss seems to affect every area of life. Emotions overwhelm the soul. And this is expressed through the application of paint on a raw canvas. An egg in its nest is symbolic of life and fertility. There’s fragility in life, there’s fragility in the conception of a child, there’s fragility in the birth of a child. There’s a beauty experienced when hopes are fulfilled and there’s a darkness that death invokes when dreams are lost.  And, her absence is like the sky, spread over everything…